Dancing, as we all know, is a form of art, but the only form of art that proves you have a soul i.e. that you exist. If you're good at it, there's nothing anywhere that says that you can't make money out of it, but many are often kidnapped for their dancing abilities, so it's often best not to shake it.
Still, if you're like me and walk tall, fearing not the dance kidnappers, then this compo is probobly for you -
http://starsystemstalent.com/
Unfortunately, it won't be over here in the UK anytime soon, but there are ways and means, comrades (competition comrades? comprades?). Check out my solution! Underneath this!
"Dear Sir Madam,
Do you have what it takes to be a star? Because I do! My stage name is Sir Golden Round, and I cannot tell you the despair I and my community felt when we realised that your Stars Search! Tour wouldn’t be hitting the U. Kingdom! Why ever not? Don’t you realise that such dance luminaries as Rubber Tom, Information Station and Clive! were discovered on these very shores? You’ve missed a trick, but DO NOT WORRY. I wouldn’t be where I am today (i.e. just outside Chiswick) if it weren’t for my intelligence and courage, which I will deploy in your favour.
Attached is an in depth diagrammatical illustration of the new formations I would’ve pulled if you had only come on over to United Great B. They look tricky fo’ sho’, but chain them with the right introductory, predicalatory and permitiary moves, and they should make for quite the show. Be advised that I would wear my trademark golden sweater and braces, as well as a frightening mask and the hat featured in the diagrams. This may all be a bit too much for some of the audience, so if anyone does attempt to crib my style (?!?), please have the audience vacate the first three rows of seats. I also like to hand out pictures of linen cupboard accidents after my performance, to highlight the importance of regular linen cupboard maintenance. My dance partner, Beverly Calibri, was lightly crushed by falling linen two months ago, and though she recovered almost instantly (due to her high physical prowess), we were both left sort of deeply shaken afterwards. Caution, wizard. Caution.
Yours in dancing,
Sir Golden Round
p.s. I don’t normally type like this.
p.p.s burn my prize money – the dance IS ALL!"
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